"We're going to have more cases," said the Expert. "More cases means more death."

"This is bad," cried the Citizen. "We want less cases and less deaths!"

"Fewer," muttered the Pedant.

"What if we had less cases?" asked the Authority.

"Then we'd have fewer deaths," said the Expert.

"That's what I want," said the Citizen.

"Let's do that, then." The Authority nodded decisively.

"We can't just 'do that,' Mr Authority," said the Expert.

"Why not?" asked the Authority.

The Economist whispered, "If we don't, it'll be expensive."

"We need to take action that will produce fewer cases," the Expert explained.

"Then we're taking action by having less cases," declared the Authority.

"Fewer," muttered the Pedant.

"Yay!" The Citizen cheered. The Economist smiled.

"No," insisted the Expert, "having fewer cases is the consequence of an action, a result, not an action itself!"

"What kind of action?" asked the Authority. The Economist perked their ears.

"Expensive ones." The Economist booed. "Actions that aren't fun." The Citizen booed. "Ones that make important numbers go down." The Authority looked puzzled. "Down is bad," added the Expert. The Authority frowned.

"No, we'll do my thing instead," said the Authority. The Expert sighed.

The Citizen died.