James Flagston, attorney-at-law, walked into his office and sat down. "Sorry about that, Mr. Gilbert," he said. "Now what can I help you with?" "I think I have a workplace sexual harassment case," said Gilbert. "My boss touches me inappropriately and, um, makes me uncomfortable. It really impacts my work."

"I'm sure it does," Flagston said soothingly. "It sounds like an obvious case of harassment to me. Have you made it clear that your boss's advances are unwelcome? And is your employment at risk?"

"Well, no. I mean, yes, I've made it clear that it's inappropriate, but I'm not in danger of losing my job. I just... have to put up with it, I guess."

"Of course you don't. We'll have a suit filed in no time, and that'll make the transition to a new workplace easier."

"Oh, no, I don't want to work somewhere else."

"Trust me, it never works out, staying on after a harassment suit. It's uncomfortable for everyone."

"But I can't leave. I'm self-employed."

"You're self... what? Then who's harassing you?"

"I keep touching myself during work hours. It's not appropriate."

Flagston stood up. "I can't help you."

"I just want it to stop."

"Please leave."