“Well? What are you waiting for?”

“Uh, well, I guess I’m looking for the right moment. You know, it’s kind of—.”

“The world doesn’t wait for you, girl! Go! Do it!”

“Well, it’s a big decision, right, so, um, I’m just not sure—”

“You can’t always wait to be sure!”

“Yeah, but there’s only one first time for this—well, I think—”

“Everyone only gets one first time at anything in this experience called life! What makes you so special, that you need to think so long!”

“I just, um, I guess I have to decide when—”

“Now. The answer is now.”

“Wait, no. That doesn’t—”

“You have to seize life by the balls, my friend. With your teeth.”

“It doesn’t matt—”

“Seize the balls of life in your mighty jaws—”

“That’s not what I’m—”

“—and hang on like a pit bull. Start now. Never stop.”

“You really don’t understand.”

“I understand that no one ever baked bread without lighting a fire! Come on, my friend! The time is now!”

“God, you’re so annoying.”

She got into the time machine she’d been trying to set and went back to stop herself from inviting this walking self-help book to her unveiling.