"Dad, did you move my bookmark?" Jan marched up brandishing a book and planted herself in front of where Vernon was reading his tablet. He lowered his screen and raised an eyebrow. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you always borrow my books without asking, and—"

"Books are meant to be shared, sweetheart."

"—and you read them when I'm not home, and lose my place." She took a deep breath and lowered the book. "Look, being able to talk with you about books is nice, but can you at least keep my place when you're reading them?"

"Well, I try, honey." Vernon pushed his glasses up on his nose and peered at the book in her hand. "But I haven't read that one yet."

"Then what happened to the bookmark?"

"I'm not positive, but I think I might've borrowed it when I read that other book of yours."

Her brow furrowed. "What other book?"

Vernon lifted the tablet and lowered his eyes to it. "The title was something like, 'Secret Diary: Do Not Read,' or some such. It wasn't as exciting as I'd expected. No plot. I'd look there."

He smiled behind his tablet. The joke was worth the screaming.