...though "poem" might be a bit generous. I wrote this for my cousin's wedding on September 1st of this year, assisted by a hurricane-like brainstorming session from the mother of the groom and assorted cousins, uncles, aunts, and friends. And so, to celebrate the marriage of Mimi Choi and Brenden Schaefer (hence Choifer), I present to you my aunt's speech at the reception.

Once a good fellow named Brenden

Got engaged and took that to its endin'.

Since she never fled

They finally got wed

Creating a true Choifer blendin'.

Dear Mimi, to put off your fears

Some advice to get through the years

When you get a doggy

It might get too soggy

If Brenden can suck on its ears.

And be careful, 'cause he can be vain.

He's got so many clothes it's a pain.

He even, it seems,

Wears under-eye creams.

These habits might drive you insane.

He tried for professional bass,

Or a chef at a higher-class place.

He had a brief flirt

With bison yogurt

And now is a marketing ace.

As a brother, he was sometime a shit.

He covered Nicole's face with spit.

He called her Ben Gay

Every damn day

And tortured her with evil wit.

But you're marrying him. You know why?

He's generous, kind, and won't lie.

When he says you're his love,

It's really no bluff.

Brenden's a fantastic guy.