Have you heard of the new pre-food diet? The pre-food diet is to the raw food diet what the raw food diet is to no diet at all! Instead of eating food before it's cooked, you only eat food before it's grown. With our simple monthly subscription model, we send you your monthly allotment of food — which can be any amount of any food you like! Fix it up in your favorite dishes and enjoy without guilt, because even though it tastes just like the best food you've ever made, it's gone by the time it reaches your stomach.

It works like this: All our food is gene-modified with Chronex™ genes. As the plants or animals grow, they produce proteins that, on contact with our stomach acids, regress through time to the state before they were grown. Nothing remains in your stomach. With our specially modified food and our selection of nutrient and calorie supplements, you can eat everything you want and not gain a pound. Process patented, accept no substitute.

(Warning: Some people report partial internal regressing, hormonal denaturing, and temporary reversal of internal bodily processes. Chronex™ is not responsible for idiosyncratic physical reaction to Chronex™ modified food.)