So there I was, worshipping the porcelain god, when I puked up my face. Not like my face came off my skull or some shit like that. No, this was a floppy, skin-mask version of my face floating on a raft of puke-green half-digested tater tots on a scum of cheap booze. Naturally, I stared at it in shock, blinking. At least until it blinked back at me. "What the f—"

"I am your inner desire," it said in my voice. "Through the purity of your want, I have manifested to realize your dream. Simply state what you seek and it shall be yours."

I'm not going to lie. I vomited on it. Once it got done spitting and blinking its eyes clear, I said, "If you're for real, shouldn't you know what I want already? Why not just give it to me, man?"

"You must give voice to your desires to bring them to life," it said. "If you cannot accept your need, it will never come to you." It spit out more watery vomit. "Say it! Speak your will!"

Yeah, I flushed that thing down with my puke. It screamed all the way. Sketchy as fuck, that thing.