One-Line Review: The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1969), starring Kurt Russell

This bog-standard Disney teenage comic romp is exactly as 1960s as you think it is, but it at least has an impossibly-young Kurt Russell.

One-Line Review: Bleeding Steel (2017), starring Jackie Chan, Show Lo, and Na-Na OuYang

Bleeding Steel is scientific and narrative nonsense that uses all of Jackie Chan’s name power and none of his old prowess, and deserves to be turned off before it pulls out the word “ladyboy.”

Dead Trigger (2017), starring Dolph Lundgren

The producers spent all their money on Dolph Lundgren and busloads of zombie cosplayers instead of practical or remotely realistic blood effects, good dialogue, a script that makes sense, or actors.

One-Line Review: 2047: Virtual Revolution (2016), starring Mike Dupold

Virtual Revolution is tepid, mostly predictable, nearly emotionless, and inserts boring gunfights between its boring conversation.

One-Line Review: Alien Warfare (2019), starring Clayton Snyder, David Meadows, and Daniel Washington

Alien Warfare is an hour and a half movie worth about ten minutes of your time.

One-Line Review: The Wandering Earth (2019), starring Jing Wu, Chuxiao Qu, and Guangjie Li

The Wandering Earth is more interesting for its Chinese perspective than it is for its plot or characters.

One-Line Review: The Ritual (2017), starring Rafe Spall, Arsher Ali, Robert James-Collier, and Sam Troughton

Despite an unassuming release, The Ritual is a horror film with great characters, great pacing, and that horror-film rarity, a monster whose reveal completely lives up to the anticipation.