peter a schaefer

writer // game designer

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One-Line Review: Hostage (2005), starring Bruce Willis

August 27, 2022 by Peter Schaefer in Reviews

If you're looking for that brand of American action movie where Bruce Willis breaks all the rules because he knows what's best and gets away without consequences, this sure is one.

August 27, 2022 /Peter Schaefer
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One-Line Review: American Badger (2019), starring Kirk Caouette

August 26, 2022 by Peter Schaefer in Reviews

American Badger surprises with thoughtful pacing and good fight choreography, but needed another polish, a bigger budget, and way less rape.

August 26, 2022 /Peter Schaefer
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One-Line Review: 12 Rounds (2009), starring John Cena and Aiden Gillen

July 01, 2022 by Peter Schaefer in Reviews

The director of Die Hard 2 wished he'd made Die Hard 3, so he did the same thing but worse, adding more steps, clumsier reveals, and a girlfriend who exists to be a hostage.

July 01, 2022 /Peter Schaefer
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One-Line Review: Cop Land (1997), starring Sylvester Stallone and Harvey Keitel

June 27, 2022 by Peter Schaefer in Reviews

A strong, understated performance from Stallone in the role of a sheriff struggling to overcome his insecurity and his role as a yes-man for corrupt cops makes this a surprise success.

June 27, 2022 /Peter Schaefer
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One-Line Review: The Protégé (2021)

April 26, 2022 by Peter Schaefer in Reviews

Almost excellent, but the ending is a miss, it has a severe dearth of Vietnamese characters for a film set in Vietnam, and it expects us to buy romantic interest between the lead and someone 30 years her elder.

April 26, 2022 /Peter Schaefer
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One-Line Review: Peppermint (2018), starring Jennifer Garner

April 06, 2022 by Peter Schaefer in Reviews

Predictable and badly paced, this film tells viewers that Mexicans are gangsters and that vigilantism keeps people safe.

April 06, 2022 /Peter Schaefer
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One-Line Review: The 2nd (2020), starring Ryan Phillippe and Jack Griffo

December 05, 2020 by Peter Schaefer in Reviews

This one imagines a CIA conspiracy to negate the US’s 2nd Amendment that involves kidnapping, extortion, and lots of guns, which adds stupid to the sins of boring, patriarchical, and very, very white.

December 05, 2020 /Peter Schaefer
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